I just pynch a tree in the face
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
