but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
