So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You're like the curious george of whores
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
