the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Help. Why am I so naked?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
