I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
