so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
