when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
