is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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