We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My feet surprised me
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
