well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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