I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Randomize
