Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
