Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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