I bet he comes in French.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
