The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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