I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
