I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
