It's Friday. Sex?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
