Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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