he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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