I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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