dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
FUCK WHALES
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
