Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
