you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
