am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
