He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
