I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
