Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
