Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
