I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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