i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
