She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
