Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
