Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Boobs speak an international language.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
