She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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