the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
