New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
