Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
