id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
