dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
