i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
