My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
