Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
