More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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