OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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