Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
