I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
