I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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