she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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