I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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