My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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