you mean i was at the winter classic?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
